Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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