My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize