It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
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What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
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You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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