i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
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He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
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