yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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