Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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