im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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