Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
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