Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
why is half of my head shaved?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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