I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize