While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize