How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
do herpes really smell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
40s are totally the cure
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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