k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
this is an emotional support booty call
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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