Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize