Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
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