speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
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