Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Dear god my vagina.
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