There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
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