sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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