I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Randomize