So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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