He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
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We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
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I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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