He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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