You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
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He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
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We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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