Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
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