He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
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