So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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