I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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