I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Vodka?
Forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize