Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
After last night, I could never be a politician.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
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She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
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I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Randomize