Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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