We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
that's an acceptable place to lick
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
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i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
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I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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