You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Randomize