I wanna passion pit in your ass
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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