day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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