he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize