Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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