My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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