Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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