The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
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