RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize