Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize