if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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