yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
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