found the other keg... it's in the tree
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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