I got her a Nickelback box set.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize