Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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