so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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