make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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