Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize